Tuesday, July 19

Darling, I don't know how to tell you this.. but there's a Chinese family in our bathroom.

And so almost a year passed. Yes indeed, not kidding here, a Year. Surely you have noticed it even better than me, given that you still do swing by this blog of mine on those empty nights, filled with boredom and nothing else to do but to roam through those sites you never otherwise would. Where have I been and where am I now, you might ask. Well you won't believe me, but I'll tell you anyway: I'm here, where it all started. Here, in this little town where the blues is not far and I'm not talking about the music genre here. Here, in the very same Room even, where the whole of this blog started. No, I've not come back from a huge adventure around the world to tell you about it in all it's glory, I mean I've been here all the time with only a slight exception. Me, who swore to leave as soon as even the slightest, smallest, littlest opportunity would show it's pretty face and ask me to leave everything behind and get on the road again. So what happened?

The thing is, that opportunity never did show up. I realize now how lucky I was that it indeed didn't as I might have lost someone truly precious in exchange for a chance to leave and not even realize it but only after it was too late.

Okay, so what have I been doing the past year, then? Other than tried desperately to find a way, a passageway, a door out of here, I've mostly been figuring myself out. Taken my time. I did make a little trip to Scotland to my sister's place a while ago here, but that's all the adventure I've had lately. Out of Finland, I mean. It wasn't a year gone to waste, though, no, I do know it's been rather an important one. It's made me realize that things, even the ones that seem horrible at the time, do happen for a reason. Such a long while I've had all these beautiful things around me, but I have not really been looking, I have not really Seen them. This past year has taught me to really look around me, see the things around me for what they truly are before dashing off to million different directions after something I think I need. You might think it's been a year wasted alright but frankly, I don't. Neither do I care, anymore, almost at all what others might be thinking or expecting of me. What's more important, the most important, is that I know who I am and what I must do in order to keep my own life in order. The only one that can be you and live your life is you and you only and I think that's one truly profound thing right there that you need to realize before anything else can make sense. "Be rather a first rate version of yourself than a second rate version of someone else" suddenly doesn't sound so funny, now does it.

So, if I've been here all this time, why haven't I written? You see, it's funny but I never seem to have anything interesting to tell you nowadays, especially being here. While in New York I sure did have things to tell you but was too busy experiencing it all to make it here to tell you about them. In France, then again, I had things to share for sure but was so depressed I didn't want to let you know what a miserable time I'd had. It seems I've formed a sort of dilemma here. But not to worry, I actually have come up with a solution already. Inspired by this blog, I've decided to try making this a breakfast blog for a while, to get me going again. I'm not trying to copy nor steal this wonderful person's life or blog or breakfasts, I just feel inspired by her. And what always was the problem for me, was that I had to have something to say, something to write, even if I didn't really feel like it. This way I don't have to have anything to say if I just don't, a mere photo will do, but if I have something on my mind, I can still share it with you. So, from tomorrow on, I'll try and post a photo at least nearly every day of what I've had for breakfast that day. For I sure do have breakfast every day, it might actually be my favourite meal.

If this post sounds sad or bitter to you, that is still not the case. I am happy, I am, and so much more at ease than in a long long time. I'm also really going to try with this new idea, so come back tomorrow and the week to come to see if this time I truly do live up to my promises!